My Way to Happier and Easier Life…

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As a kid I wasn’t thought the value of awareness or being present. I was thought to study, function from my thinking mind, looking for pluses and minuses of my decisions, trying to do the RIGHT thing, fulfil the expectations try to make everyone happy. Get serious. Find “the one” (and not date too much), marry him and stay together no matter what. Have 2 kids and work hard for the money. But I can also see beyond that now. I can perceive all the judgements to anyone who choses to make different choices in life. For people who are different. And I know being judged, learning to judge and living from their point of view was a huge handicap toward finding myself.


Maybe I need to mention I wasn’t interested in spirituality before. I wasn’t surrounded with people who were interested in something more. I found myself on Access Consciousness classes by accident. I couldn’t explain it with my brain. But I could feel it with my body, getting high fever, developing sensations I never knew can exist. I guess I was lucky to make some very cool own experience of oneness, actualisation and different realities.  I knew NOTHING about oneness, yet I was able to experience something very cool for myself in a short time after working with energies. It felt so familiar. THAT is what kept me going.


The transformation from forcing myself to be only “good” and discovering and refusing all the dark sides was enorm. At the beginning I had zero allowance for the bad. Making it way more significant then they really were. Believing anything anyone would tell me about myself! Being confused. Making incredibly stupid decisions from this point of view. I refused to live as nothing ever happened and go back to mediocrity and just quit exploring what I saw was possible and my awareness of different life. I also refused to live in reality I had back then, because believing I am mean and bad felt heavy. On top of it came a statement that I created my problems myself! wtf?? Why would I ever create that? I don’t want problems! I was trying to avoid them all my life. It was a whole process…


Getting to ALLOWANCE was a game changer. First allowing myself to finally be EVERYTHING felt really light. No more forcing myself to be good. Or convincing myself I am bad. What feels light for me is to be bubbly and happy and laugh so long my belly hurts. But I can be mean. Tell the truth or lie. Work hard one day. Be lazy the next. Nothing wrong with all that. Nothing wrong with being divorced. Or married. A big difference was also having allowance to the good and bad of others. Allowing people to judge me, hate me and love me. Staying open, without trying to escape and seek relief. As long as I am true to myself, as long I have my freedom to do what I want. Problem is only a problem if you react to it and make it as one. I wouldn’t get to here without my past.


Here’s what gave me greater understanding of life: We come to this world to experience oneness in a different way, with our being. We can experience oneness and power when we find balance. But in order to find balance we get to experience imbalance. And we play a game with ourselves. We create imbalance (problems, emotions, thoughts, feelings etc) just to get the experience we need and overcome it to get to balance and oneness. Things are way easier now. Joy comes easy. Creativity comes easy. Independence comes easy. Money comes easy – easier I ever imagined possible. Gratitude comes easy. I know I came far from where I was a year ago and I have a long way to go. Being happy, having trust and living a different life is what makes everything different.

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